well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
