i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
