apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
