I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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