I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
