Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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