So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
