Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
