Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
