my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
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Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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