doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
