Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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