I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
