So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
