so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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