My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
