i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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