If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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