Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
