he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
