if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
