so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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