When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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