i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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