I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
