Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
why do cheetos always look like penises
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
