I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
