The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
