is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
