you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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