So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
