So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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