Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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