You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
