There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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