i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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