i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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