Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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