It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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