I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
