Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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