...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Randomize
