IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
