Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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