I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
