There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
