Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
