Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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