I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
only if we run a train.
done.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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