i permit you to call me
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
