Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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