Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
