I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
