A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
