I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
