just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
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We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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