we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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