just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
