I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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