His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
