i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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