So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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