So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
