he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
